Posted by: wtfwjd? | May 24, 2008

Stool inspection shelf

The General introduced me to the German word sitzpinkel in a recent post. Which led me to this.

I do not understand the purpose of this toilet. It does not save water – you must flush it eight or ten times to remove every last scrape and smear. It is not hygienic – the smell is ungodly. The only conceivable explanation is that Germans love to inspect their stool, so the German toilet of necessity features a built-in stool inspection shelf. I wouldn’t be surprised if the more expensive models include a digital scale: “Mein Gott, zwei kilogram!” exclaims Günter, joyful and relieved.

A side effect of the stool inspection shelf built into German toilets is that they make standing urination (Stehenwasserlassen) virtually impossible, thus the dreaded sitzpinkel.

Back in 1984, when I was in high school, a friend explained his non-support for Walter Mondale’s candidacy thusly: “Walter Mondale sits down to piss!” While I disagreed with his choice, I think there was something to this comment, and I thought about it as I watched Dukakis, Gore, and Kerry, all conceivable sitzpinkers, lose the general elections.

Bill Clinton was clearly not a sitzpinkeler. I don’t think Obama can easily be imagined this way either. Hillary, on the other hand…well, actually I can see her publicly announcing her use of the Lady J if she thought it would help her win.

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Responses

  1. I call those toilets flush’n’brush, cuz that’s what you have to do all the time. They don’t stink though – unless you fail to keep it clean like you have to do with normal ones.


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